Let me start by saying that it is really weird to be writing about the first month of Will's life, because that was, like, forever ago. I barely remember it. And that's the problem. If I don't write it now, what little I remember will disappear and forever be lost. I cannot let that happen.
Fortunately for me and my increasingly weak memory, I wrote a letter to my little man on July 22nd:
I cannot believe that you are already one month old. In some ways, I am shocked by how quickly time flies, and I want to keep you tiny and bundled in my arms forever. In other ways, I am so excited for you to grow up so we can go to the park and play together, read stories, and share cupcakes from Sweet Mandy B's. I spend a lot of time these days eagerly anticipating our the great fun we'll have as a family together.
For now, you are still a bit of an enigma to me. There are days when you eat peacefully, gaze lovingly at me and sleep easily. Today is one of those days. Thank you. But there are also days where you scream loudly, fuss inconsolably and sleep, well, never. That was yesterday. I think. I've already forgotten it. The pediatrician told us this afternoon that you'll get angrier before you get happier. Your father and I are braced for all kinds of excitement in the coming weeks!
You're still learning to move your arms and legs and fingers and toes in the wide open space of the world you now occupy. Sometimes you shake your limbs violently, sometimes your fingers dance in front of your face in graceful patterns. I usually assume these movements and gestures are random, but the frequency with which you raise your middle finger to me while you nurse has me somewhat concerned. I keep telling myself that it's just a random gesture, and the graceful, random movement of your hand that just happens to result in the one finger salute is your way of communicating that your content.
We need to work on your communication skills.
This first month has been a bit of a roller coaster. Since you were born late at night, you didn't spend very much time in the hospital before we were shipped home. As a consequence of being rushed through, you gave your parents a bit of a scare when you didn't pass two of your initial screening tests. But a couple weeks and a couple trips to Children's Memorial later, the doctor called to tell us what we already knew deep down...
You are perfect.
We are so lucky to be your parents.
Looking back at the pictures from Will's first month, it strikes me how much he has changed and developed, how new and foreign he appeared in those first few weeks, and how little I remember. Our pediatrician told us it would be a blur and that we wouldn't remember the bad stuff, or really much at all. He reasoned that if people really remembered a lot about the first month or two that no one would have a second child. The implication was not solely that the first months were that bad but also that the following months were so worth it. And they have been.
I was taking an inventory of some of our early videos of Will. The difference between to little boy who lives in our house now and our new-to-the-world, alien boy from last summer is great, but I love him then and now all the same. Here's a taste of what I've been looking through as I remember.
I hope you enjoy it! Click here to read more!